Stop Ruining “John’s” Nightmare! Avoid this Conversion-Killing Mistake in Your Nightmare Stories (VSLs and Sales Letters)

If you’re familiar with any of the top sales letters or VSLs in the health market on platforms like ClickBank, you’ll notice most of these offers feature a “nightmare” story. This usually unfolds in the lead of the VSL to hook people into the message. And poor “John”, he’s almost died, he’s almost lost it all in probably a thousand different times now.

There’s a reason why you see nightmare stories used all the time in sales copy and that’s because they do work well. They grab attention, they get the prospect immediately into a very emotional state and they convert really well. If, and this is a BIG IF, they’re executed correctly. There are plenty of wrong ways to use a nightmare story in your sales copy. Today, I want to focus on one mistake in particular that can make you ‘miss the mark’ on a nightmare story and lead to poor conversion rates.

Client Example: Setting the Stage

I’m going to talk about an example that I encountered recently when working with the client. I’m going to describe to you the type of nightmare story they used in the lead to open the sales letter. And as I’m doing that, I want you to think to yourself why this missed the mark and is just not converting well at all. First, let me give you a brief profile on the audience, and then I’ll start talking about the story.

This is for a hearing loss supplement. The profile is men and women, 60 years of age and older, who are struggling with hearing loss. They’ve had hearing loss for quite a while, usually at least a few months, but in many cases a year or more. The point here is they have been suffering from hearing loss for a long time. They’ve tried different conventional treatments like hearing aids and maybe they did receive some benefit or temporary relief, but there’re still not hearing as well as they’d like. So they’re really looking for any type of alternative therapy that might give them even a little more of their hearing back. That’s kind of the general audience here.

Not all Nightmare Stories are Created Equal

Let’s start talking about the nightmare story that was used in my client’s old sales letter. This was told from the first person angle, and it focuses on the main character, the narrator of the sales letter, when he was sitting in the doctor’s office and the doctor is dropping the bomb. He’s delivering the news that this guy has severe hearing loss in both ears, he’s going to be deaf before he knows it and probably never able to hear anything again.

And so poor “John”, is in such a state of shock and devastation. His wife’s there, she starts crying and all these awful thoughts and images are running through his mind. How he’ll never be able to hear his wife’s voice again (not always a bad thing), he won’t be able to hear the laughter of his kids or his grandkids, and so on. Just all these awful things.

To the copywriter’s credit, he did a pretty good job of conveying all the negative emotions and feelings flooding through this guy in the moment. So from a copy standpoint, the copy itself wasn’t bad at all. That wasn’t the problem. Anyway, that’s the gist of the story used to open the sales letter. If you already think you know the problem, leave a comment below. I’d love to hear your thoughts or your interpretation of this as well.

Know Your Prospect’s #1 Pain Point and WHERE She is in Her Journey

In my opinion, the reason why this fell flat and missed the mark is because this nightmare story focused on the very beginning of their hearing loss journey when they first got the bad news.

But where are these people now, our target customers, where are they now in their journey?

They’re not at the beginning, they’ve moved way past that. They know they have hearing loss, they’ve probably accepted it for the most part. They just want it better, they’re looking for any possible way to improve it.

Your Takeaway:

The best and most effective nightmare stories tend to focus on and capture the number one pain point the prospect is experiencing right now on a daily basis, that’s top of mind.

Not something they went through in the past possibly years ago, but the number one thorn in their side pain point they’re suffering with right now. Top of mind, that’s the key. That’s where this copywriter went wrong and why that nightmare story missed the mark.

Fear is a Good Backup

Now, if for whatever reason, you can’t craft a story around the number one top of mind pain point they’re dealing with right now on a daily basis, the next best option is to focus on the number one fear they have. Something they’re absolutely terrified of happening if they don’t fix their problem. That’s how you craft nightmare stories that really hit, really connect on a deep, emotional level and ultimately convert well.

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STOP Ruining “John’s” Nightmare!

Avoid this Conversion-Killing Mistake in Your Sales Letters and VSLs

A Cool Tool to Figure Out What Your Audience Wants….and GIVE It to Them!

We’re all competing for the attention of our audience, of our ideal customer. No matter how obscure your industry or market, the fact is competition still exists and always will exist. Consumers today are relentlessly bombarded with advertisements and marketing campaigns.

This is the case throughout all advertising mediums, but especially true in the digital world online. Email is the cornerstone of relationship marketing, sequentially leading consumers through the journey from prospect to buying customer.

But how do we go about getting members of our target audience on our email list in the first place? The short answer, is we need to give them something of VALUE. Basically, we need to give them an ethical bribe.

The most effective way to do this is by offering something that helps solve a glaring problem or provides a specific benefit. Lead magnet is a common term you see used in the marketing community. This can be delivered many ways: an eBook, video, email series, podcast, webinar and the list goes on.

Ok, so we know what type of media we can provide as our “ethical bribe” to get someone on our email list, but what content should we provide in the process? This is where things can get tricky. In our minds, we may “think” we know what our target audience wants, what content they crave and will ravenously devour. But assumptions are not enough, and they can be downright dangerous. Why waste hours of time and hard earned dollars creating content that our audience could give two hoots about?

If you want to maximize your chances of success and hitting a home run right out of the gate, you need some data to support your ideas. A great tool to quickly gather some of this data is BuzzSumo.

Here’s how it works: you type in your niche/topic and hit search. BuzzSumo then pulls up popular pieces of content relating to your niche that have been widely shared on social media. It even gives you an estimate of how many times each piece of content has been shared. Obviously the more shares, the more popular the content.

And it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that if something is popular or goes viral on social media, it’s probably something that your audience actually cares about or enjoys. Did the light bulb in your noggin just turn on? I sure hope so! Because now you can use this data to create your own content. You know what specific topics or information resonates with your audience. The guesswork is gone.

Let’s take a look at an example.

I went over to BuzzSumo.com and searched the phrase “dog training tips”. Below is a search result for Top 10 crate training tips that’s been shared 9,500 times on Facebook:

 

If you’re targeting people interested in “dog training tips”, this is an article you want to pay attention to and borrow from. You can click the link to open the article right up.

“Dog training tips” is still pretty broad. So let’s try getting more specific, and search for the term “stop barking”. Here’s an interesting result that turns up:

As you can see, this article from the Humane Society about how to get your dog to stop barking  was recently published and has already been shared over 7,000 times on Facebook. You would simply read the article, and take note of what topics and information they talk about. If you’re creating a lead magnet targeting people who want their dogs to bark less, you’ll want to swipe info from this article for your own content.

It goes without saying you never should plagiarize or just “copy and paste”. Instead, put your own twist on their content using your own words and in a context that applies to your specific audience.

Creating a savory lead magnet or “bribe” to entice people to sign up to your email list doesn’t have to be torture. Thanks to simple tools like BuzzSumo, we can know with certainty what type of content our audience loves to consume.

FYI, this doesn’t just apply to creating a lead magnet for email subscribers. You can use tools like this to create products to sell too. With a little thought and creativity, the possibilities are endless! Are you excited yet?